Music Reviews
Gary Go

Gary Go Gary Go

(Polydor) Buy it from Insound Rating - 0/10

Firstly, a disclaimer. Music journalists, and particularly amateur music journalists, do what they do because they love music. Therefore, despite the fact that sometimes it may seem otherwise, we don’t want to write hatchet-job reviews all the time (however cathartic it may be). Ideally, we want the next undiscovered masterpiece to land in our lap so we can break out the superlatives and turn people on to something that’s really special. Then again, you can only work with what you’re given, so away we go.

Do you find One Republic a little bit too hedonistic and thrilling? Are The Fray a bit too rock n’ roll for your tastes? Does the very mention of Maroon 5 leave you cowering under your duvet because their music is just too damn terrifying? If you’ve answered ‘yes’ to any of the above questions, then good news - Gary Go is here for you! Fresh from supporting Take That on their recent tour, the man Q have described as a “one-man Coldplay” (though that’s being more than harsh on Chris Martin’s men) releases his début album.

Throughout the eleven (though it feels like many more) tracks that make up Gary Go, Gary demonstrates his mastery of soulless, vapid pop, apparently designed specifically as a bed for highlights packages on low-budget reality TV shows. Polished to the point of being nausea-inducing, this album has been packaged to a precise remit: robotic, stadium-rock-lite that follows the tried and tested formula of acoustic quiet bit, drums come in, second verse, chorus, repeat to fade so strictly that you’ll feel like banging your head against a brick wall and/or adding your own beat-box percussion.

All that isn’t even the worst thing; the vocals and lyrics are beyond awful. Gary Go strains his way through his songs with a voice dripping thick with false sincerity. What is probably intended to sound emotive and meaningful just comes across as, well, constipation to be brutally honest. Factor in lyrics that a schoolchild would baulk at if given them to sing in a school musical production and you have a recipe for possibly the worst album ever to be put on general release.

The album begins with Open Arms as Gary Go whines “whatever happened to truth?” and it’s all downhill from there. There are too many examples of pathetic pleased-with-itself, thinks-its-profound, cod-psychology within Gary Go to list here, but there are a few “highlights.” Today’s favourites are: “We are a miracle wrapped up in chemicals” (from Wonderful) and “I’m finding it hard to fill in the pros on my ‘Reasons for Living’ list” (from So-So, a kind of inferior version of the Goo Goo Dolls‘ Iris). When there’s a wealth of talent in music today plus an exhaustive back catalogue of riches you could immerse yourself in, it’s difficult to imagine who could lap up this rubbish.

After listening to Gary Go in its entirety, it’s not an exaggeration to say it’s more poisonous than anything to come out of the Simon Cowell stable of identikit svengali-controlled pop. It’d be preferable to listen to the soundtrack to High School Musical than this; at least Zac Eyebrows, Cordon Bleu and the girl who had naked pictures on the Internet serve up something which tries to be fun, bouncy and doesn’t take itself too seriously. After a few minutes of Gary Go’s morose, self-obsessed attempt at music, an hour of jumping around to choreographed dance routines with a fixed grin on your face is a much more attractive prospect.

It’s difficult to know what message Gary Go wants to send out with this LP. Half of the tracks are a rallying call-to-arms that a motivational speaker would find ridiculous and the other half are wallowing, boo-hoo-the-world-is-mean-sometimes mope-fests. For example, on Heart and Soul, Gary Go sings “Nothing will matter, nothing at all, if you don’t follow your heart and soul” but on the very next track (Speak), it’s “I’m sorry I spoke, I had all my eggs in one basket; it broke.” The belief that authenticity is all has led Gary Go to create eleven tracks of bland, contemptible music that’s little more than an exercise in lowest common denominator box-ticking.

So, you can probably tell that it’s recommended you don’t buy Gary Go, unless of course every day you wake up hopeful of a Daniel Powter comeback. Some of the orchestral arrangements are pretty listenable (the brass and strings on Brooklyn are certainly above-average) but that’s really clutching at straws. Gary Go is an unforgivably turgid album that is bad in practically every way imaginable.

Hey, you know what? That was cathartic.

Comments for Gary Go review

Whoa

A zero? He won't be asking "whatever happened to truth" anymore after this! This was a fun read, despite not having listened to Gary Go and now deciding never to listen to Gary Go.

Don't judge Gary based on this tripe review, listen for yourself

That review is so over-the-top, it is a blatant attempt to big yourself up by shooting down those around you. I absolutely adore this album with all my 'heart and soul', and can point you in the direction of many others who feel the same. You're attempts to discredit it with comments about how he's inconsistent by having one hopeful song followed by sad one, are preposterous: Are you telling me an artist can only have 1 type of mood on an album? People have good days and bad days, and a true artist sings about both when the mood takes them. Otherwise you end up with an album of identical songs. I don't care what you think, I only care that others may be influenced by you're cheap point-scoring into not giving the album a try themselves. I for one, have never before heard an album that sounded so much like it was speaking to me from my own subconscious, and the melodies and musical technical skills are beautiful, and inspired. I have not stopped listening to it since I got it. You will eat your words before long when he is a success, and Gary and I will be there to watch. He has even caught the attention of Lady Ga Ga, who has given him a support slot on her new European tour, just after Gary's slot with Take That finishes. He's riding with the big ones. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.

Thanks Jaclyn

Glad you enjoyed the review.

As for the other comment.... well, I can see we're not going to agree on this one, are we? Of course people can have more than one mood on an album, it's just that the fist-pumping "tell yourself you are wonderful" songs are compeltely at odds with the snivelling I'm-a-bit-sad songs. It suggests to me a character who's full of themselves then crumbles at the first sign of anything going wrong, hardly the kind of person you want to be taking motivational techniques from. Before you say you shouldn't be getting motivational techniques from singers (something which I'm inclined to agree with... especially in Pete Doherty's case), this is different because Gary Go is trying to gee people up with his painfully bad prose.

As for me "eating my words when he becomes a success," well, I never said he wouldn't be and it neither proves or disproves my point if he does. Unfortunately, success and quality in music don't always go hand in hand. Mind you, I think the album went into the UK charts at around #22, which is probably disappointing for Polydor given his high-profile support slots and blanket advertising campaign. He's come to the attention of Lady GaGa you say? Well, in my book that hardly marks him out as being any good. Anyway, Gary Go, Take That and Lady GaGa are all on the same label, so it's a business arrangement if anything.

On the other hand, if you've "never before heard an album that sounded so much like it was speaking to me from my own subconscious" then I'm not going to ever change your mind and you're entitled to your opinion. But I'm sorry, this album is utter, utter rubbish.

Ok, Guest

In all fairness, and against my better judgment, I just listened to some Gary Go on imeem, and I think I made it two minutes into "Brooklyn" before wanting to say "Gary Go lick my balls."

This probably will become popular. I can see my Mom blasting this from her fuzzy counter-mounted radio in the kitchen. And me standing there going "Mom, come on, really?" And her saying "Oh, you know me, I just play the top 40 station, I don't really care about music."

It's nice to see dissenting opinions of course, and at least I did give it a try. Haha, imeem just recommended Linkin Park after that Gary Go song was over. Wow.

It's unfortunate for Gary Go

It's unfortunate for Gary Go that his name is so easy to make jokes out of.

Go that his name is so easy

Go that his name is so easy to make jokes out of.vitamina d

name is so easy to make jokes

name is so easy to make jokes out o.....cheapessayhelp.net

Gary Go (insert joke)

It's unfortunate for Gary Go that his name is so easy to pun.

Unfortunate for him

but a gift for a hack like me! Anyway, he didn't have to call himself that; his real name is Gary Baker and he could've stuck with that no worries.

Not unfortunate for him

Actually, Gary loves making puns about his name. He has a very funny, tongue-in-cheek sense of humour. So anything you come up with, will probably make him smile. It's just a nickname he got years ago which stuck. Nobody laughs at the name 'Bono'. He is actually a very funny, happy guy in person. You should go to one of his gigs, he always ends up laughing and joking with the audience throughout. It's just that his songs tends to be inspired in the moments when things go wrong for him, and he writes to reassure himself and remind himself to not get drawn into bad moments. You should check out his video blogs on utube (theartistgary) they are very funny. But I sense we will never see eye-to-eye on this so to quote Gary: there's no accounting for taste; let's agree to disagree.

Give that man a banana

I'm sure he's a nice fella and all, but that hasn't really got much to do with how dire his music is. Dave Grohl is forever being called "the nicest man in rock" - doesn't mean I particularly like the Foo Fighters. I like the production work of Phil Spector but recent events have shown he's hardly top of anyone's list of dinner party invitees.

An awful lot of performers do laugh and joke with their audience, it's part of what performing is about! I don't know whether Gary Go is a family member of yours or perhaps your employer, but that's certainly how your post reads.

Oh, and for the record, EVERYONE laughs at the name Bono; it's a ridiculous name. The only reason he doesn't get laughed at more is because he's in a band with a man who decides to call himself The Edge, so it's difficult not to laugh at him too.

Bono Vox

I have to second that- Bono is perhaps the worst stage name ever. Gary Go doesn't come close in that respect...

Bono is horrible stage name...

...but The Edge is much worse.

But you seriously need to let

But you seriously need to let folks subscribe in a variety of ways, not just Pay Pal
(sorry Mr. Omidyar)or you will limit participation to only one segment of locals. blog comments backlinks

not just Pay Pal (sorry Mr.

not just Pay Pal
(sorry Mr. Omidyar)or you will limit participation to only one segment of locals. ....No win No Fee

Bono is perhaps the worst

Bono is perhaps the worst stage name ever...www.isabisformulae.com

Gary Go doesn't come close in

Gary Go doesn't come close in that respect......altavoces

perhaps the worst stage name

perhaps the worst stage name ever. Gary Go doesn't come close in that respect.....vitamin c serum

I have collected this one and

I have collected this one and can say it is a good one really. Have he launched any new one? SEO work here

Welcome to female Cubit Wears

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"Nobody laughs at the name

"Nobody laughs at the name 'Bono'."

I do.

I'm naming my next kid "Babs

I'm naming my next kid "Babs Layman Nelson." click here

You should check out his

You should check out his video blogs on utube (theartistgary) they are very funny. But I sense we will never see eye-to-eye on this so to quote Gary: there's no accounting for taste; let's agree to disagree. Gripeez

Gary Go

Well I just read the review after hearing his Lady Gaga support and decided to download the one track you (half) recommended Brooklyn as it was probably the best start.

I actually have to admit i disagree with you (I haven't yet heard the other tracks in order to judge the album in full) - this is probably one of the most moving songs I have ever heard..... you're right about the string arrangement too! Epic.

As I said - i've only just listened to one track so can't comment on the rest of the lyrics but this also stood out for me 'So while I've been feeding your ego, mines been wearing thin, it's all so quiet in Brooklyn' - love it!!

I have to admit I like your reviews but i WILL be checking out the rest of this album based on Brooklyn! What a track!! (I'll report back with my findings!!)

paul

Backhanded compliment

Heh, that made me smile: "I have to admit I like your reviews." You say that like it's something to be ashamed of! Maybe it is, I don't know.

Maybe it's me being old, jaded and cynical but everything on this album to me smacks of faux-sincerity. I found pretty much every song unbearable and my personal opinion is something along the lines of "if you think this is really good, then you've clearly never heard music before." Yup, it's a strong standpoint (and probably offensive to many people, sorry) but that's the only way I can convey the severity of my feelings.

But, you know, if you like it, Godspeed to you and all that. I look forward to your report back (though note that since I wrote this review I've been trying to repress any memory I have of this album and I'm not prepared to listen to it again).

I've been listening to this

I've been listening to this album for the last few days and I absolutely love it. It's one of the more refreshing albums I've heard in a while and I think it's kind of unfair to say that if anyone likes this album then they've never heard "real music" before, when it all really comes down to is personal tastes and preferences, when and where you grew up, your age, your perception of the artist and even your psychological state of mind at the time.

Like for me, I've noticed that in the past 3 years my musical tastes have changed drastically. I'm also, constantly on the look out for new music and artists of all genres.

I also own a $800 headphone rig for home use and a $500 portable rig for commuting and I'm planning on getting a turntable next. (I'm quite serious about my music listening as you can see).

I've also listened to many of the older albums and artists that are considered "classics", always with an open mind, and honestly I don't really find them that interesting to listen to. They're not bad but they don't sound good either and some of the lyrics from those "classic" songs just aren't really relevant with the times today so I don't care for them as much as the people who first heard them back in the day. But, oddly enough I kind of like it when some of the newer artists do covers of the older songs that I didn't find interesting from the original artists.

it's all relative.

though this doesn't come close to the UK's own James Blake, it is still a gorgeous album.

Hell, Bruce Springsteen, the Beatles, and Coldplay made it big on songs with relatively simple chord progressions combined with (sometimes corny) moving lyrics - why can't anyone else do the same in this world?

http://vimeo.com/9430932

the man certainly has talent.

It is so much easier and

It is so much easier and faster than filling capsules by hand. I wanted to give credit to my friend who suggested me this product and that too from amazon. The kettle doesn't make good contact with the base. yes absolutely Glad to know it's still made in USA Silybum I've got the burn marks to prove. It costs me $10 less than Staples and arrived in a few days (with free shipping too). I've used them for hours already and its a flawless design. Burrell provides concise research dating back to slavery to answer these pertinent questions. The latter offers the perspective of a psychologist/sufferer and makes a strong combination with 'Brain Lock'. It arrived beautifully packaged in the original box, in perfect condition.

When I met her in the office

When I met her in the office she said super loud "I didn't know if you knew how to use tampons so I just brought you some pads!" My crush was probably right behind..... *top health products*

Well, DUH! The blades had

Well, DUH! The blades had blunted after literally 100s of shaves. I'm not a Bose basher, I have 3 bose systems, I have 301's up front which are fantastic - this center channel is truly insulting. what happened to the normal windows print queue? 4) as mentioned, the toner cartridge that it comes with is a "starter" one, which supposedly will do 700 pages. Lots of them....set for a while. click here I used the restore disks to put the operating system and programs back on it. I made the cheddar biscuits from the package and they were excellent. The bandage Protector is wonderful. I'll make the thermometer purchase later on. You must get this! One of the best Blu-ray packages ever offered. Sometimes I quit in order to give other products a try, but I always quickly come back.

I found pretty much every

I found pretty much every song unbearable and my personal opinion is something along the lines of "if you think this is really good,

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